In the world of neuroscience, trauma is about circuits, not the lightweight allostatic wires of Brain States 3 and 4, but the full-blown stress response we all experience as Brain State 5.
The trouble with. that state is how it impacts the brain, which is compromising the functioning of the prefrontal cortex (which must do the dance of resiliences to self-apply the process that switches off the circuit) and unleashes toxic emotions that even an emotional magician has a hard time sanitizing.
Really seeing, hearing, and feeling us is key.
That circuit is mostly one that is a reactivation of past unprocessed stress, often early in life, however, that “trauma wire” can be activated by overwhelming situational stress. How. to we amplify the power of the PFC to shuttle th chemicals and electricity of that circuit through the golden pathways of natural resilience in the emotional brain?
Having someone to talk to who really sees, hears, and feels us is key. So is having a PFC that knows how to use EBT with precision . . . and last, choosing to bolt on to the resilience process (“Cycle Tool”) something that is uniquely powerful: the Bliss Factor.
Right now, I’m preparing to go on the trip of a lifetime to be with my daughter Haley at the opening of her one-person museum show in Florence. Her father will be there and the occasion for healing and celebration feels heaven-sent. The only trouble is that after three episodes of health problems in the last year that each were life-threatening, I’m still not well. And all my preparation to be well for this trip have fallen short. After not having. the strength I expected to walk the neighborhood this morning, I hit a 5+++.
The solution? Spiral Up!
Fortunately, as an EBTer, I knew just what to do: ask for help. I asked my husband Walt. to listen to me do a Cycle. We have a standing rule in our marriage that we honor these requests, and probably Cycle together 3 to 4 times per week.
He said, “Of course.”
So, sitting on the sofa with Walt across. the coffee table from me in his white chair, I began. The Cycle was helpful, but not transformative. (In EBT, we always go for transformative, as the emotional brain can do that!) Walt gave me a connecting message that was within the structure of the technique, but he was now at Brain State 5 too, and neither of us was transformed.
Not to be deterred (“Don’t stop until you pop.”), after pausing for a few moments, I launched into a second Cycle, with using the Bliss Factor in mind. This technique amplifies the dissonance between the pain caused by the unreasonable expectation (the old wire) and the thought of the joy activated by the reasonable expectation (the new wire).
For example, if the old wire with the boost of the “Ick Factor” tells us I get my existence from people pleasing to the point that I destroy my health and erase all authenticity in my relationships and the new wire is I get my existence from connecting to myself and giving love stopping short of neglecting or abusing myself, by adding the Bliss Factor, the brain awakens a drive to erase that wire. The dissonance is so great and the new expectation so rewarding that it feels like rewiring is the only sensible pathway forward. The Bliss Factor phrase might be . . . to the point that I transcend my own body and am in love with myself, the spiritual and life itself.
Creativity is needed in the construction of this statement and a willingness to release overcontrol, connect with the deeper meanings and opportunities of life, then feel the glow of spiritual bliss.
Adding the Bliss Factor
My Cycle was limping along. I was marching through the 23 steps of the resilience pathway, aware that Walt was being a loving presence, patient and caring. Yet, when I started spiraling up through negating and then ridiculing the old expectation, I remained mained. curious with some degree of joyful anticipation that I was about to bolt on the Bliss Factor. I knew I needed that.
So, I came to the transcend statement and said, I get my existence from connecting to the deepest part of myself, surrendering to the will of the spiritual, letting go of overcontrol and doing everything I can to make each moment I have like heaven on earth and feeling fully prepared that when I am gone, I will soar up into the clouds that are heaven-sent.
At that, I burst out laughing with joy. All my fears, that stuck feeling of powerlessness and depression – they were gone. Walt gave me a Connecting Message from a Brain State 1, and together, emotionally sober but grounded in higher purpose, we restarted our day.
