Let’s face it—experiencing poor mental health is far more prevalent than the average person realizes. However, just because there’s still so much stigma associated with it, it can feel extremely lonely. Whether one refers to it as a mental health condition or mental illness, the reality is that negative attitudes and old-fashioned myths still linger.
And that can make it difficult for individuals to speak up, seek assistance, or even acknowledge to themselves that they’re in trouble. The consequences extend far beyond emotions—they can strike self-worth, relationships, job, and even access to good health care.
Stigma appears in various forms. At times, it is overt, such as an insulting remark or a condescending attitude. Other times it’s less overt—people pull away, feel awkward around you, or assume that if you have a mental illness, then you must be crazy or dangerous.
And sometimes the worst stigma of all is internal. You may find yourself thinking that you are defective, that you’re failing somehow, that you’re just not good enough. But you’re not. A mental illness doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it just means you’re human, and you shouldn’t have to go through it alone.
If you are concerned about someone in your life, being able to recognize the warning signs of depression or other mental health issues is an empowering tool to assist. Depression doesn’t appear the same way in everyone. Some individuals get extremely down or hopeless. Others may appear angry, withdrawn, or simply lose interest in activities they once enjoyed.
Look out for variations in sleep, appetite, energy, or even physical complaints such as headaches or stomach problems. Occasionally, it’s subtle—perhaps they’re canceling appointments, remaining silent, or appearing distracted. For children and adolescents, irritability is a red flag.
One of the most difficult things about depression is that people tend to feel like they can “just shake it off.” But that’s not how it works. Depression doesn’t typically just resolve without help, and it can get worse if left alone. If you’re worried about someone, try to have a conversation. Carefully explain what you’ve observed and express your concern. Explain to them that this is a health problem, not something about their personality.
You can even provide help to them get started—perhaps that’s attending the first session with them, picking up the phone, or just sitting with them while they navigate the process. If it does feel risky or emergent, don’t be afraid to call for assistance or seek out the services of a professional.
Being present for someone who has a mental illness isn’t only about forcing them into treatment. Sometimes what they need most is someone to sit with them, listen, and not judge. Sometimes being present is incredibly healing.
Individuals suffering from depression are generally their own worst enemies, so reminding them of their capabilities and that they are important can mean more than you have any idea. If daily activities seem daunting to them, help out in minor, detail-oriented ways—such as preparing a meal, cleaning up, or assisting in developing a manageable schedule.
Discussing mental illness or alcohol/drug use can be sensitive, so choose your approach wisely. The way you say something is as important as the thing you’re saying. Steer clear of language that puts them into a category in their state. Instead, use person-first language—say “someone who is depressed” instead of “a depressed person.” It’s a slight difference, but it makes a big impact.
Holding back from expecting them to change right away is respectful. Healing is a slow process, and everyone heals at their rate.
And while you’re showing up for someone else, don’t forget to check in with yourself, as well. Helping a loved one through a difficult time can be emotionally draining. Be sure you’re also leaning on your support system, taking time to recharge, and seeking help when needed. The more you care for yourself, the more you’ll be able to care for them. Oftentimes, simply having the knowledge that someone is there and that they’re not alone is the greatest support of all.
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