Heartbreak is something nearly everybody experiences at some point. Regardless of your age or history with relationships, breakups can be hard to take, whether they come suddenly or gradually slide away, whether they broke up on good or bad terms. The hurt can be overwhelming, even bodily. Yet no matter how profound it feels, recovery is entirely possible—and there are concrete, earthly methods to begin healing.
How Heartbreak Affects You—Emotionally and Physically
Break-ups not only play with your feelings—they can play havoc with your body, as well. It’s not unexpected to be sad, lonely, irritable, or to experience changes in your appetite or sleep. For others, the emotional burden can even bring on physical responses such as headaches or chest discomfort. Rarely, this stress can bring on something known as broken heart syndrome, when your heart is flooded with stress hormones and begins behaving as if it’s having a heart attack. As the Cleveland Clinic reports, this cascade of stress “briefly stuns your heart muscle, causing symptoms identical to a typical heart attack.
Emotionally, heartbreak arrives in waves or phases—denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance. You may move from one to another or skip some entirely. But acknowledging these emotions can help you know what you’re experiencing. As Calm says, “Each stage represents a different emotional response to the loss and is a part of the process toward acceptance and healing.”
How to Start Healing
First and foremost, allow yourself to feel everything. Attempting to push your emotions under the rug or criticizing yourself for being upset typically only. It’s normal to be angry, cry, or just be sad. As Calm instructs, “Begin by permitting yourself to feel your feelings without judgment—it’s okay to mourn.”
Relying on your support system can make a world of difference. Speak with individuals who care about you—friends, family, anyone who’s a good listener. It may be difficult to extend an invitation, but it usually results in comfort, new routines, and the reminder that you are not alone. One New Yorker said to The Cut, “When the people who love you know you’re hurting, they do rally around you.”
Then there’s self-care. And no, not just face masks and bubble baths (although those do the trick, too). We’re talking about things that center you, such as getting outside, getting your body moving, journaling, or discovering a creative activity. Engaging something with your hands—drawing, painting, even baking—is a good source of calm. As one explained to The Cut, “Creative endeavors were particularly therapeutic. I even started getting into watercolor painting after my last breakup.
Boundaries are important, too, particularly when it comes to your ex. Setting boundaries, even taking a no-contact, can be one of the strongest things you can do to begin healing. That may mean blocking them from social media or just informing them that you need time without talking. One contributor said to The Cut, “Just laying it all out there was the key point.”. I’m not usually that blunt, but I felt as though I couldn’t get over it unless I did.
Journaling can do more than you might imagine. Writing it out allows you to work through your feelings, see patterns, and look back on what you’ve learned. One author told The Cut, “Journaling still assists when I am dating other individuals now, and with many other aspects of life.”
And if you’re having a tough time, speaking with a therapist can be transformative. Therapy provides a safe place to work through, think about, and resolve any relationship patterns you wish to alter in the future. As one individual explained, “Ultimately, I did three months of relationship therapy and learned more than I could imagine about myself and relationships.”
When Heartbreak Doesn’t Ease Up
Occasionally, the depression doesn’t lift as you had hoped. If the burden of the breakup feels like too much and isn’t improving, you may have depression. According to WebMD, “If they don’t, you might have depression. You don’t have to get through your breakup alone. Talk to your doctor if your blues never go away or interfere with your daily life.”
And don’t dismiss any physical symptoms such as pain in your chest or headaches, particularly if they persist. Emotional strain can manifest in your body in very tangible ways. If you don’t feel right, consult with a physician.
Finding Yourself Again
The breakup may make you feel lost, particularly if your sense of self was closely linked to the relationship. But this can also be a transition. It’s an opportunity to remember who you are and what gets you alive. Do something different, something small—take a dance class, go on a solo vacation, work on a weekend project. These experiences allow you to create a life that feels like yours once more. One woman said to The Cut, “Taking time traveling and being around friends and loved ones and new experiences helped. Staying busy helps.”. And living YOUR life, for you, assists.
The reality is, healing is a slow process. There’s no magic timeline. But most individuals do discover that the pain lessens as they make new memories and get back in touch with themselves. In time, those painful recollections disappear, and you start looking forward rather than backward. As Calm says, “With the pain decreases, and you’ll be moving forward.”
Related
