Let’s be real: dating during the app age can feel like a combination of a game of dodgeball and a treasure hunt. On some days, you hit age. On other days, you’re merely dodging red flags. If you’re a veteran swiper or just dipping your toes in, safety on a first date should never be an option. These 16 safety tips—beginning with the fundamentals and concluding with the bare necessities—can assist you in keeping your mind on having a good time while keeping your head smart and safe.
16. Excuse yourself if someone does not honor your safety issues.
When a date mocks or challenges your boundaries, that’s your signal to depart. As one reader succinctly said, if a person is not supportive of your safety, he/she is not caring about you—they are caring only about themselves.
15. Trust your gut. Always.
If something feels off, listen to that instinct. Don’t wait around to see if it gets better. One reader shared how leaving a date early based on a weird vibe may have saved her from a dangerous situation. Your intuition exists for a reason—trust it.
14. Boundary pushers don’t get a second chance.
If your date is attempting to convince you to stay out later than originally planned or disregard your safety strategy, that’s a red flag. One woman reported how she walked away when a guy wouldn’t accept “no” for an answer—and didn’t look back.
13. Avoid alcohol on first dates with strangers.
A drink may make you feel loose, but it also fogs your brain. One reader confines herself to coffee or dessert when she meets someone new. It keeps the atmosphere light and your intuition keen.
12. Get together in public and spend money with your card.
Choose a busy, public place and buy something small using a credit or debit card. It creates a digital trail and, in many places, you’ll also have the added backup of security cameras.
11. Keep a fake phone call ready.
One reader documented a guy friend faking being her dad, including pauses so she could “react” naturally. Using it in a shady situation can make it a convenient way to get out.
10. Leave your lights on before you leave.
Simple trick: leave your apartment lights on when you leave. It prevents giving someone a tip-off on which unit you’re in when you get back, particularly if anyone’s lurking outside.
9. Don’t provide your actual address.
If you’re being picked up or dropped off, tell the person you’re staying with a friend nearby. This keeps your real home undercover until you’re comfortable.
8. Create a discreet code with friends.
One set of friends simply uses a “!!!” in a text to indicate that something’s awry. It’s quick, discreet, and works if you need backup or an exit plan.
7. Utilize a Google Voice number or app with similar features.
Don’t reveal your actual number until you’re sure about a person. Google Voice can be tied in with your email and allows you to easily block a number if a meeting does not work out.
6. Phone conversation before the meeting.
A 20- to 30-minute call will tell you more about a person than a million texts ever will. It also provides a low-stakes exit if something doesn’t feel right.
5. If you’re being stalked, don’t head straight home.
Ditch the date and drive to the nearest fire or police station and wait there until you feel secure. It’s a good idea if you’re concerned someone may try to find where you live.
4. Take down the venue number.
Before your date, search for the phone number of where you are going and put it in your phone. In case you need to call for assistance without letting your date know, you’ll be prepared.
3. Tell them you have something else scheduled afterward.
Let your date know that you have something else planned later—whether it’s just a backup excuse or something real. It sets expectations, provides a natural out, and if the date goes amazingly, you can always “cancel” on your other plans.
2. Avoid your go-to places for first dates.
It may seem easy, but if the date goes wrong, you don’t want them appearing where you tend to socialize. One reader learned the hard way when a guy began appearing at her favorite coffee shop.
1. Your safety and comfort are never negotiable.
If somebody pushes you to hurry up, overshare, or push a boundary, stand firm. A person who is worth your time will respect your pace and your boundaries—no questions asked.
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